Infertility

So much of life is about reproduction. ‘The Selfish Gene’ suggests that the whole of life is essentially a programme through which we facilitate the passage of our genes from one generation to the next. According to this thesis, the ‘selfish gene’ subconsciously influences every decision we make. In our choice of partner, of home, of career, of what to do this afternoon, the selfish gene makes sure that we are swayed in its direction. Are you attracted to that man / woman you see every day in the shop? The selfish gene is fooling you, after all what has he / she done for you apart from smile? Linking up with that individual might be the worse decision you ever make.

But the selfish gene is eyeing up that smile, those clear eyes, that nice body. Hmmm it thinks, that looks healthy, I could do with teaming up with the DNA in that. The gene is truly selfish, it doesn't care about your marital status, it just wants to use you to link up with as much DNA as it can.

So much of everyday chat is about reproduction and its consequences. Families, children and grandchildren. Whenever relatives want to strike up a conversation it is often the first thing they turn to. So, how are you doing Paradox? What they are really asking is - How goes it in the great game of reproduction?

After a while it gets you down. You don’t really have an answer. You are not really part of it all. You are not playing the game but you are watching from the sidelines. Once a player has been red carded, the selfish gene within realises that it is not going to be transported after all. Angry and frustrated it turns upon its host and consumes him / her from within. Just what is the point? There is none if you are not a player in the game.

Careers, holidays, obsessions, hobbies, ambitions, principles and beliefs. These are things that attempt to supplant the selfish gene. They try to get in its way, offering an alternative. Try us, they say, and you will see that there is more to life than serving the selfish gene. You do try to jump aboard – you apply all sorts of techniques to convince yourself that your presence on the planet amounts to more than a simple vehicle to allow the selfish gene another generational passage. Surely your presence is more than a back over which the selfish gene can leapfrog.

But is it? Careers, holidays, obsessions, hobbies, ambitions, principles and beliefs. Players of the game also follow these. Indeed players can argue that in a small way they are doing their bit to make life easier for their assorted progeny. Whether right or left, socialist or capitalist, Christian or Islamic, poet or mathematician, they all love their kids and believe that they are ‘doing good’. The smiles of the little ones to convince them that they are ‘right’ and fortify them in their daily battles. The intergenerational transporters of the gene feel good because they are doing their duty to pass it on. That’s all there is to life! The rest is just a vain attempt to keep up with the Jones’s and to cover up the emptiness they feel once their job is done and their offspring have departed, taking the gene with them for safe passage. Of course, it comes back again in the form of grandchildren, making the player feel that he or she really has done their duty.

But spare a thought for the childless. We don’t play in this game. What is our role?

We don’t have one. And we know it...

Its all a matter of perspective.