Friends
Who is your friend? Do you really have any?
The more you ponder the less you have. In Disclosure, Michael Douglas asks Jacqueline Kim "Are you a friend?" It turns out that she is not, though nor is she an enemy. She is a benign aquaintance.
How many of your family are friends? How many of your neighbours are friends? And are you a friend to anyone? "Keep your friends close but your enemies closer", was Sun tzu's advice. Are you following it? Unwittingly?
A reasonable definition: A friend authentically cares for your well being. A friend will occasionally inconvenience themselves for you (though lets not exaggerate). A friend will not betray your confidence. A friend has no expectations from you, nor transmits expectations onto you. Why does a friend do these things? Because a friend actually likes you.
Taken seriously, the above definition rules out family. It excludes lovers and partners and work colleagues. It probably excludes most people you know. There can be no substantive competition between you and your friend. Divided loyalties cannot exist. You cannot and must not love your friend. Jealousy is not there. Your friend must light up your life, without eliciting habit or dependence.
Why are friends so rare? The answer is quite simple:
Seek not friends but question if you are a friend.
The more you ponder the less you have. In Disclosure, Michael Douglas asks Jacqueline Kim "Are you a friend?" It turns out that she is not, though nor is she an enemy. She is a benign aquaintance.
How many of your family are friends? How many of your neighbours are friends? And are you a friend to anyone? "Keep your friends close but your enemies closer", was Sun tzu's advice. Are you following it? Unwittingly?
A reasonable definition: A friend authentically cares for your well being. A friend will occasionally inconvenience themselves for you (though lets not exaggerate). A friend will not betray your confidence. A friend has no expectations from you, nor transmits expectations onto you. Why does a friend do these things? Because a friend actually likes you.
Taken seriously, the above definition rules out family. It excludes lovers and partners and work colleagues. It probably excludes most people you know. There can be no substantive competition between you and your friend. Divided loyalties cannot exist. You cannot and must not love your friend. Jealousy is not there. Your friend must light up your life, without eliciting habit or dependence.
Why are friends so rare? The answer is quite simple:
Seek not friends but question if you are a friend.
posted by Administrator at 9:29 pm
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